How Deep Does Your Hate Run?

When I was in high school I had a friend, an acquaintance, that I worked with at the local grocery store. His name was Brian and he was kind of a goof off who used to pull some crazy stunts while we were working. It was great entertainment. Especially since his dad owned the store, so he knew he couldn't get fired for any of his antics.

He was also into drugs and the party lifestyle pretty big. I think he might have been an original goth... not the black clothes and white facepaint goth (this was only the mid 90's... I'm pretty sure Marilyn Manson was still a zit-faced teen himself). But he wore different clothes, didn't comb his hair, listened to weird music, and painted his fingernails. He was weird.

After I graduated, I moved out of town for a while to go to college. I eventually heard a rumor that Brian had been baptized. This struck me as kind of odd... did this mean he was a Christian? Why were people only talking about his baptism? Is this some kind of a stunt or practical joke? What did it mean? He was definitely not from a religious home. I was intrigued.

A while later, I was back in town and ran into Brian at a local coffee shop. There he was, still dressing funky, but I could see a twinkle in his eyes. They weren't glazed over and he wasn't stoned... there was something truly different. He came up to me and offered to pay for my cup of coffee if we could catch up. I thought that would be great! Who doesn't like free coffee?

So, we sat down and made small talk for a few minutes. How was life post-graduation. Where are you working. What are you doing. Etcetera, etcetera. Then he pointed out the jacket I was wearing. It was kind of a shearling coat made out of fluffy wool. I'll never forget his next words.

"You look like a sheep," he said with a sinister smile. "Do you follow a shepherd?"

Then it hit me. Not only were the rumors true, he had become a Believer, but he was trying to witness to me.

I will never forget the overwhelming feeling of guilt that swept over me at that moment. Part of me was impressed by his sweet lead-in and obvious gift for evangelism that I wanted to play along and "get saved" just to help his ego. But the bigger issue was that I was already a Believer myself, and he didn't know.

See, I'm not an evangelist. That's not my gift. I don't have the ability (or desire?) to just walk up to casual friends or perfect strangers and share my faith. I like St. Francis of Assisi's advice to "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words." That's safe.

I can be a good person and live a good life, and sit back and let that speak for me as it permeates the people around me. Put it on their shoulders to recognize why I'm different. "They will know you are my followers by your love." If I just love everyone, they will know... I don't have to say anything. It's safe. No ridicule. No rejection. No awkward situations after I've laid it all on the line. It's safe.

But how effective is it?

Recently I watched a video blog from Penn Gillette, a devoutly open and adamant atheist. Someone had given him a Bible after one of his shows, and he was moved to tears. Not because he believed in anything the guy said, or that he was ever even going to read the Book... but he was moved by the gesture that this guy cared about him enough to share what he thought was The Answer.

Then he asked the question. A question that has rocked my world and thought process for the last few days since hearing it for the first time. I can't get it out of my head, and I don't think I'll ever be the same because of it.

He asked, "How much to you have to hate someone to believe that everlasting life is possible, and not tell them?"

How much do you have to hate someone to keep this from them? It's not a matter of inconvenience, or awkwardness. It's not even a matter of selfishness and hiding the truth. If we fail to share The Answer with them, it's an all-out assault of hatred towards those who don't believe.

Let me clarify something. I am not promoting street-corner preaching, or soap-box screaming. No "Turn or Burn" theology or "Fire & Brimstone" threats. There are people in our lives, people we are in relationship with, who will turn to us one day and ask us why we never told them.

So I challenge you to do the same thing I have been doing over these last few days. Examine your life. Examine your relationships. Are there people in your life you haven't shared with? And if so, why not?

How deep does your hate run?